I know...I know...I'm a bad blogger... where is the newspaper so I can pop myself on the nose?
A lot has been going on in my world, I've been a bit tied up, so to speak.  BUT...I am back.. 
So today's post is nothing special, but I have been keeping a running tally lately (in my iphone notes that I just figured out how to use) of the things that make giggle/smile. 
1. the term wasted face.  Example:  "Man, maybe we should take her margarita away, because that girl is wasted face."
2. I am a grown woman with a Kool Aid smile.
3. I actually enjoy watching the hunting/fishing channel. (what a dork!)
4. Overalls on grown folks.
5. My priest calling me today and leaving me a message saying "thanks for being you."
6. How philosophical two glasses of red wine makes me and my friend.
7. I burned my middle and pointer fingers right at the joints and it hurts to bend them so when I am driving I keep them straight and it looks like I am flipping everyone a peace sign. Everytime I look at them it makes me think of Alanis Morrisette. " I got one hand in my pocket and the other one is flipping a peace sign..."
8. my dog wearing her snuggie. 
9. flowers for my birthday.  Thanks CP!
10. my friends kidnapping me for my birthday and dancing on the sidewalk to the "mixed tape" they made me of all of my favorite songs.
11. sno-cones on a warm sunny day
12. girl scout cookies.
13. My Godson finally talking a little bit and calling me "C-Ya-Ya"

gotta love em'

The men in my family make me laugh.

I was talking to my Daddy today and was explaining to him that I have been "therapy eating" because I have a lot going on and a blizzard makes me feel better. He laughed and said "yeah I've packed on a few myself. Maybe after next week when everything settles down we can have a little weight loss competition, we can call it the biggest loser in the family." Then there was silence from both of us. "Perhaps we will rethink the name".

I got home from an exausting day and plopped myself down on Papa's bed while he is chillaxing in his recliner. We watched the HGTV home renovation program with an occasional flip back to cash cab and a payless shoes commercial came on. He looked and me and said "what in the heck's BOGO?" "Buy one get one" I said without turning my head. "Well, I'll be darned. So when they have commercials for BOGO greens fees that means..?" "Yep." I said. "Huh" he muttered and adjusted his golf cap.

My Uncle Jim has a little boat called "shallow minded" and when he "hits it big" he plans on getting a large boat and calling it "deep thinker."

So last night I woke up in the wee hours and had one thing on my mind,
"bitches be bookin." Really? I thought, is it really necessary that
I come up with a book club name now? Apparently my psyche was
bothered by our friends nameless literary league. So my sleepless
mind got to rolling like a hamster on its wheel. I started with
potential words to inspire me:
literature (literature lovers)
fiction (friends and fiction friday club)
drama (drama reading divas)
literary (the Augusta Literary League)
books (getting looks and reading books)
written word (the written word wizards)
paperback (pimpin' and paperbacks?)
hardback (hardback hotties?)
manuscript (manuscript mamas?)
journalism (journalism junkies?)
storybook (once upon a time there was a bookclub) (sugar and spice and
all that's nice storybook club)

*le Sigh*
looks like "bitches be bookin'" is still the front runner....

Tell me if I am wrong, but retail therapy helps everything.
For example:
A new bright green raincoat makes an icky rainy day much better!
A cute pair of pink gloves makes scraping ice off your windshield on a bitterly cold day bearable.
A new pair of Tiffany & Co. sunglasses will make the 110 degree Augusta summer a little more glamorous.
A fabulous new purse makes you not mind toting around the 30 lbs of junk that you just cannot live without.
New makeup makes for a freshfaced new you.
New tootbrush= you smile more (seriously....buy one you really like and try it, consider it a social experiment.)
New shampoo=good hair day.
New shoes....oh new shoes....new shoes cure the blues!

Do I hear a rebuttal?

Champagne Thursday is so fun!!!! ...until friday morning rolls around...

So my friend and I started drinking around dinner time because we had both had the worst day ever. We then proceeded to have a "revert back to college" night. We had ramen noodles and popcorn for dinner. We called old friends that we hadn't talked to in many moons. We even laughed at our sorority memories and our random roadtrips. We pulled out our memory boxes and looked at old greeting cards and forgotten presents. We literally laughed until we cried. We looked at eachother and had conversations with no words. "I love you more than chocolate and Godiva dipped strawberries, and that's big!" I told my Val Pal. We drank until we were silly all while watching our favorite old trusty go-to when there's nothing on television. Sex and the city, of course! Nothing like a little Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte to relax you after a bad day. We started on episode 1, season 1, so we can rewatch the entire series AGAIN. We had a revelation about satc. They weeded out the mom pants (Charlotte), and the dike look (Miranda's ties), Carrie's incessant chatter to the camera, and the horrible characters (skipper). I am so glad that skippy, as Miranda always called him, was given the axe after the third episode. If I would have had my way him and his Jerry curl would have been killed off well before the end of disk one.

C

So today I was teaching class and as I was asking the class to tell me their first names and what they want to be when they grow up. I looked down to see the tiniest little boy. He was little and cute and wore glasses. He had on air Jordons with red piping, but they were on the wrong feet. He then proceeded to tell me that his name was Richard but everyone calls him Brandon, naturally. Who wouldn't assume that? Then he told me he wanted to be a cobweb when he 'growed up.' Then he farted. Loudly.
Then as we were watching the instructional video that has a carp as the main character, he looked at me with discust and said in his most serious voice, "fish can't talk." Then he looked away for a second as if he was thinking really hard and turned back to me and said "neither can frogs."

So my uncle was telling me this story about a girl that he knows that does not ever
use the phrase "that what's she said" appropriately. I for one love this phrase and
reserve the right to use it in any context that I see needs a little extra "wha bam,"
if you will.

So here is an example of what he was talking about. Unc said to her "do you think
that we could use these files for something else or should we just toss them? Her
reply? You guessed it... "that is what she said."

He rolled his eyes and walked off only to overhear his constituent giving a little
lesson on the copier say, "but what I am saying is that you have to move it around
and push a little harder or it won't work. It's a little stubborn." my unc poked his
head in the file room and between laughs said "that's what she said." everyone
laughed of course except Dummy Mcdummerstein. She just sat there baffled by
why this 'bazinga' moment just happened.

So for those of you fools that don't understand this phrase, here's a short tutorial:
"that's what she said" #1 is a contraction. #2 is meant to be used after something
implies a non-direct sexual reference. Does that help?
C