Ok, so I know too many precious girls named Lindsay and I hate that they have to share their name with this hollywood "star" so I am going to refer to her as Lohan, which is fitting considering she gets that name from her dearly beloved upstanding citizen of a padre.
In case you aren't familiar let me give you the skinny, no pun intended considering her third world looking bod. So- sister acts a fool, becomes a lesbian, gets wasted face constantly and then gets into a whole bunch of wrecks, gets a couple DUI's and has to wear an alcohol detecting ankle bracelet to make sure she isn't drinking herself into one of her usual ridiculous escapades. So Girlfriend decides that she, in all of her fabulousness, need not attend her scheduled court date to talk about her skipping out on her alocohol and drug abuse classes. She claims she was at a movie premeire in London and someone stole her passport. Um, as the card game says, "bullsh*t." Lady- we all know you weren't at a movie premeire, you haven't had a starring role since the parent trap. Get it together ginger- you're life is in the toilet and your headed to the slammer. I'm sure the "F*$> U" you painted on your fingernail to celebrate the occasion of showing up for the judge didn't help your case. A Real class act you are, Lohan. Enjoy your 90 days in jail and your inpatient rehab. Chin up Low, it might just be the best thing that ever happened to you.
