Dedicated to anyone who has ever said "I would suggest that you step away from me right now."
Don't you hate those days when you wake up and as soon as your eyes pop open you know that it would have been a better idea not to? And guys, I don't want you reading this and thinking, "you know, my girlfriend is just like that," because you have your days too. I tell you what, the phrase "waking up on the wrong side of the bed" just doesn't even cover it. When I was a kid and woke up in poor spirits and dragged myself to the kitchen, my nana would always ask me, "did you eat tiger meat for breakfast?" Now that I look back on it, its kinda cute and honestly, I will probably say it one day, but back then I would want to shout, "no nana, I did not have tiger meat for breakfast. I am just now making it to the table because after I woke up my foot got caught in my sheet, I fell out of bed, hit my head on my closet and caught myself by grabbing the shirt I was gonna wear today and ripped it on the way down. " Isn't that just the way it goes? Everytime I'm in a bad mood it is like the spirits are aligned to mess with me. My dog, whom I love with all my heart, who is always good, will take thirty minutes to go to the bathroom. (you can always tell when I am in a bad mood because she goes from being called Gigi to "dog")I am definitely gonna spill coffee or jam on my shirt at breakfast and ketchup at lunch. I will slam my finger or foot in the door or hit my head. I will trip and almost fall, and sometimes do, along with the handful of stuff I am carrying. I will bite my cheek or tongue for no apparent reason and my hair will not do what I want it to. I think that doctors needs to look into this- I personally think society would be a lot nicer without bad moods. Let's stop focusing on this common cold stuff and focus on a "bad mood reliever" sort of the Tylenol of bad moods. Personally I think it would make millions and the divorce rate would be cut in half!
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