I WISH PEOPLE WOULD QUIT WATCHING DR. PHIL AND THINK THEY KNOW IT ALL. ONE EPISODE DOES NOT A THERAPIST MAKE.

Dedicated to anyone who is tired of hearing peoples advice who dont know squat:

I was once told a story about an old lady who was always diagnosing her friends. One of her friends, who when she first met her future husband fell off the face of the earth, she didn't return phone calls sometimes for DAYS, never replied to emails or forwards that she would have previously replied to with a "HAHA! Loved it" now recieved none of the attention they truly deserved. So the lady daignosed her with "detachment disorder." Everyone around the bridge table agreed, oooh... yes definately... shen never comes around...Let me share with you the definition of detachment disorder- wait, there is no such thing...
Or how bout the time the friend of hers who decided to go off of her antidepressants and had a time dealing with the sadness. Some days she would be in a happy-go lucky mood and others she would find it hard to get out of bed. So once again the old lady dished out her diagnosis, right there on that bridge table on one of those days that the friend just didn't feel like coming. She definately has dissasociative disorder. Ooooh... Yes, that it. She doesn't even associate with us anymore. Let me again share with you a definition, this time of dissociative diorder, right out of the pages of Wikipedia: Dissociative Identity Disorder ( DID ), as defined by the American Psychiatric Association 's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a condition in which a single person displays multiple distinct identities or personalities , each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. [1] The diagnosis requires that at least two personalities routinely take control of the individual's behavior with an associated memory loss that goes beyond normal forgetfulness; in addition, symptoms cannot be due to substance abuse or medical condition. Yep, definately sounds like what her friend has. I am so glad the old lady was there to identify her problems, now she can get the help that she needs.
How bout the time that one of her friends brought her 8 yr old little boy with her to the bridge game? Well, let see.. here are his symptoms, he hopped around on one foot alot, tended to jump from one subject to the other when talking to the ladies, and when he went outside his favorite pastime was to chase the cat around until it ran up a tree and then he would stand under it barking. Sometimes he would sneak into the kitchen and climb up on the counter to reach the cookies on top of the fridge. At the next bridge game when they weren't there she diagnosed him with autism. This time the ladies agreed a little more hesitantly thinking of example of autism that they were familiar with (think Rainman ) . "hmmm.. yeah, I guess that could be it" they said, talking themselves into the idea. Here is the definition: Autism is a brain development disorder that impairs social interaction and communication and causes restricted and repetitive behavior, all starting before a child is three years old. Autism is one of the five pervasive developmental disorders (PDD), which are characterized by widespread abnormalities of social interactions and communication, and severely restricted interests and highly repetitive behavior. Many children with autism engage in repetitive movements such as rocking and twirling, or in self-abusive behavior such as biting or head-banging. I Think this is definately what the little boy has- once again good thing that the old lady was there to tell everyone!
After doing a little research her friends found out that the first friend; turns out she had a case of getting bit by the love bug with a touch of couldn't get out of bed (if you know what I mean.) The second friend had a case of "I'm sick-o-yo-sh#+." And the child, had to pee, hence the hopping, a hint of hyperactivity, see the subject jumping, and alot of boy will be boys, aka chasing the cat up a tree and stealing cookies.
The Bridge group got together to confront the old lady, feeling a little upset that she had shamed these people and made them think that all of their friends had psychiatric disorders. And to their accusations she said "what would I know, I'm a florist."