THE TALES OF CBASS AND HER RIVER RATS

Dedicated to those that love summer- minus the 110 degree heat:

I cannot think of too many things that are sadder than the end of summer. Summer encompasses so many things that are linked to great memories, whether ones that are made already, or ones that are waiting to be made. I personally made some great ones this weekend on what i suspect will be the last of the summer boat cruises. Well, my friends and I had planned a spectacular event on the river on one saturday that we could all get together- when does that EVER happen? Of course our great garden city has been in a drought for the whole summer, but this particular saturday the clouds decided to give the foliage some relief and us some grief. We had the day planned perfectly. My overcomitted friend would go work at the fundraising golf tourney in the morning, while I spent my morning doing a whole lot of uncommited nothing (which is the way I like my saturday mornings to go, quite frankly.) Then we would meet at the boat-owners house, pick up some wife saver, (and for those of you who are not familiar #1 I am sorry and #2 best southern food around) grab beer and ice and get on the water. Seems like a flawless plan, right? Not. We finally got to the river and that's when things got soggy (pun intended.)
We put the boat in at a place I have never been, very nice area, not too many people around, pretty greenery, a few friendly folks fishin', a true picturesque day on the river. We pulled around the first corner and past the first cove, waved to some adventurous teens swimming off-shore, and stopped under a pretty bridge that was a part of a golf cart path where we could see the pretty bunkers and greens. Such a nice place to eat our chicken and fried okra and macaroni and cheese (and "don't forget the nana' puddin'".) Yeah, until God gave the clouds the "OK" and the sky fell out in front of us. At times it was raining on only one side of the bridge, very intriuging, then at times the bridge was leaking (but don't worry we formed water catching devices from styrophome containers left over from lunch.) We watched a beaver building a dam and actually gave him what we thought was a clever name, Ralphie, because we thought he was a rat at first and "ralphie the rat" flowed so well.. Then someone jumped in from the bridge above and I think actually gave my friend larangitus from yelling so loudly and the other whiplash from turning her neck so quickly to check out what the splash was about.
Well, after what seemed like quite a while the rain let up a little and we decided to carry on with our journey in the determined fashion that we started the 40% chance of rain saturday that it was. We cruised along covering ourselves with towels to keep the rain from pelting us and decided to explore a little known cove in one of the inlets. We dodged a fallen tree to the right and lifted the motor to get over a submerged log. Then we chose right or left, left looked a little less leafy, so we went that way, only getting slapped by three limbs along the way. We entered this beautiful unexplored garden of flowers that my friends kept telling me were poisonious. I wonder, are they poison only if eaten or if you touch them too? They were the prettiest ones; good thing they told me or I might have picked them and put them on my kitchen table and the death of my family would have been so tragic. We thought this was the most beautiful spot we had ever seen until suddenly we saw a snake slithering towards us: "a copper mouth" I yelled! Not realizing what I had said and hearing them snicker I tried to correct my self "cotton head" no that can't be right! Man, I deserve to fail biology when we learned about reptiles, or are they amphibians. Nevermind, they ended up calling it a rattlestick in the end just to spite me. We spent the majority of the afternoon in this pretty cove until we realized that was where the spiders lived and we trucked it out of there, because they came on the boat to tell us that our presence was not welcome there anymore.
Once we got onto the open water us girls who were already wet and felt as if creepy crawlers were on us decided we were going to jump in. As we one by one hopped in (because if we didn't we would get pushed) our hearts skipped a beat as our bodies hit the water. " I feel like the girl in titanic" one commented "it feels like melted ice" another of us said. So we decided that the leisurely afternoon swim was going to have to be diminished to a dive that we should have never made. We were all fighting to get out of the water and falling back in, "come to the back it is easier to get out" the smart friend who didn't jump in called out from the boat. The first friend got out, no problem, the second who couldn't quit laughing took three (or four or five tries) and lastly I dragged my body into the boat, new bruises and all. Suggestion to all who go swimming off a boat- make sure there is a ladder before you jump in. Suggestion to all who own a boat- invest in a ladder. Suggestion to all who go out in a boat- check the weather, and take heed.
Although our adventures turned out to be a good time, I would consider consulting meterorologist Jeff Rucker the next time we decide to go out on the boat. After all isn't he right about half the time?